A day in my life....

So many thoughts So many ways So much of thinking So much of chaos A little in my head, so much of what I said Not wanting a word from it to fade Yet cant keep it all unsaid Simple yet complicated that’s life for me ‘coz everyday a new picture is what I see in silence words perpetuate through my head making me think of all that I said a sudden voice comes over from away which inside myself helps me stay but all these thghts and all these words what do I do of them they fly like birds to be the best is what everyone strives in the rat race running to see who shines how long will I run, how long will I climb? A reason to strive in this unaware loneliness A reason to structure the unsaid mess Where do I go from here I dunno But somehow someday ill surely know

It all started in a strange manner... sudden explosion of joy and happiness...getting selected to NID was not a small thing..it was like a dream come true....but somewhere down the line it wasnt seeping thrgh.. And in a blink of an eye ... i was here in Gandhinagar,... somewhere in the middle of the forest...all alone... waiting for isolation all these i never thought god would listen to me so precisely.. With all the excitement ... suddenly came the interaction time....suddenly i started doubting my decision.. questioning my self existence in this place... But interaction helped a lot...brought lots of us together... and helped us bring out a new us.. After interaction life changed drastically... it was like a giant family ... living breathing in the same space ... seniors who were almost villians in our life in interaction were changing to good frnds ... Life has changed... is what i keep saying everytime...'coz it is different here.... i am free ... isolated yet...living my life...

ready to walk alone... a new road to walk on... cant still belive it... tomm will be my last day in mumbai... strange feeling ... first time outside mumbai...all by myself... i belive ill grow...learn more things which i always thght i was good at but wanted to test out... now is the time... another challenge in life ...walkin to the new horizon... ...bahut sari baatein unkahi reh gayi... bahut sari cheeje adhuri reh gayi... lekin...jo le ja raha hu woh bhi kuch kam nahi... nayi subah dekhni hai isiliye purani yaadein chodneka gum nahi...chale hum us disha jahan pehle na gaye they... bus unki yaad satayegi...akele main kabhi kabhi woh yaad aayegi... carrying memories.. and lots of thoughts...lots of dreams... and ofcourse...my confidence along with me....

Restarting life....press any key to continue... if only a restart was that easy.... but when lots of things are sorted out....life seems to be lighter....although running away from feelings has been an old habit...but this time its not running away its more about learning to be patient..... a silent meet with someone can teach u so many things... things about u ...things about the way u percieve the world....sometimes in life i belive taking a pause and looking around helps.... small droplets of happiness need to be lived....she sez " living life one day at a time" well so do i have to... New challenges ... new place.... new life??? same life in a new way... i remember shaans song ..."tanha dil" at this time.....but loneliness is a choice not a circumstance,,, culdnt say all that i wnated to... but well...i think i shld give myself some time.... some time to learn to be someone... to reach a height where i can be proud of... my parents can be proud of...and top of a...

lost in the imagery of unsaid silence i seek some one , i feel her absence but wat do i seek in this hazy forest of thoughts god has been so gracios to giv me lots still unsatisfied this heart lies lost searching for the light to show it the way i see a dim shadow , so there must be light all i can say is tht i cant fit it in my sight one day for sure ill find my way why shld i repent if it is not today

Its raining outside….I don’t feel like sleeping…and what constraints do I have now? … just a few more days of this freedom…Ended up the NID courier today….i realized I delayed it unnecessarily… dealt the whole situation like a kid…Weekends incident really frustrated me to my limits … perhaps I am too much a perfectionist at times… and when things don’t go my way… I just get disoriented… don’t know why... I need to change but … I don’t think I was making a big request anyways… Sometimes I wonder do I expect more than I should. Or is it just my destiny, my fate, when it comes to relationships I am not lucky,…Perhaps deep down I am not meant for relationships so deep. … and I keep running to get them when I know somewhere down the line I will fail…. Life is strange at times …on oneside it gives u mountains of happiness and then u expect more… I think I shld not ask for more from god… what if in one department I may not succeed but he has been really kind to me over others… I miss working...

Expectations. We all keep expectations from everyone, deep down inside fearing to be unheard by anyone. But today I realized how it feels on the otherside. Knowing someone’s story makes you understand that person more deeply. Sometimes its very easy to just say some things just for our own selfish wants and emotional needs. But it aint easy knowing the otherside, and understanding someones problems or for that instance even understanding their life. Life is so complicated for everyone of us, wanting to do so many things but never have an iota of time to do anything. In the complex tree of relationships getting lost in the cloud of persuasion is so easy. “ U don’t have the time for me” everyone loves to say that but never realizes for who all can a person actually have the time? And do relationships solely float on mere formal communications just becoz u have to? Humans have come to find solutions to most complex of all problems. But when it comes to problems in relationships the odd ag...

Motivation books help you get motivated, technical books help you understand things but after all you need to decide by yourself what you need to do. I believe people can tell you what to do on the basis of what they have perceived with their eyes, they can never see the world from what you see or what you want to see. My thoughts may just turn out to be irrelevant to someone else but they do mean a lot to me at times. I think that is what makes us all human, an ability to think out of what we see. A farmers son who has just seen the farms all his life aspires to be a farmer. He has no idea what it may just be to work in a software firm. But the moment he understands what it is or for that matter understands how much he can earn from it he aspires to be one. The exposure to knowledge gives us the ability to choose. But then comes the question of excessive information. Lets take an example that one person knows that a road from A to B is via C and does not know any other road. He bl...

i waited for you but you never came life these dez is never the same how much ever i try to runaway i end up thinking of you everyday i somehow know you dont feel the same it aint your fault you arent to be blamed its just me and ill get through this only difference being this time you ill surely miss.....

Thoughts, they keep wandering in my brain like the wind all around. Sometimes turbulent sometimes calm but they are always there. Sometimes too many sometimes simple but weird,they harass me they help me whatever they do they keep me alive. The other day I was traveling by train, there was this person in front of me middle aged continuosly talking, since I was totally brain fucked tht day I didn’t want to listen to anything except silence, but his just being there let me into thinking something different. I have realized there are 3 types of people one type who do lots of things in life they keep rigging their ass out and doing all things possible but selflessly. In this class we have three types according to their speech character. Some of them keep talking about all that they do selflessly, and keep saying it in the most diplomatic yet expressive manner. Take for example the middle-aged man who was sitting in front of me, he was talking about “all the secrets he knows about the boss ...